Archive for July, 2007

What Newspaper Do You Read?

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

You are what you read! What newspaper do you read?

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the
country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like
their statistics shown in pie charts.

A Special Blessing For You

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

I don’t know of anyone that cannot use this blessing!

God is the biggest help in the World.

I claimed it for you – now claim it for me. God has more than a thousand ways to provide for us, that we know nothing about.

Here is your financial blessing! It’s a simple prayer, you got 30 seconds?

Don’t sleep on this…Someone recently read this for the first time and
Received exactly enough for a $0 balance on all credit cards.

If you need a financial blessing, continue reading this e-mail.

Traveling Through Mexico

Friday, July 27th, 2007

Traveling Through Mexico On Vacation 

A guy named Joe, traveling through Mexico on vacation, lost his
wallet and all identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempts to make his
way home but is stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.

“May I see your identification, please?” asks the agent.
“I’m sorry, but I lost my wallet,” replies the guy.

“Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry,” says the agent.

“But I can prove I’m an American!” he exclaims. “I have a picture of Ronald
Reagan tattooed on one butt cheek and George Bush on the other.”

Listen For My Bell and I’ll Listen For Yours

Wednesday, July 18th, 2007

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it.

From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing.

Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind.

His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him.

This alone is amazing.

If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell.

Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field.

Beware of Outdated Pancake and Other Mixes

Saturday, July 14th, 2007

Wow – I checked Snopes out myself, and it says this is true!!  I’m throwing my old stuff away!

WARNING ABOUT Pancake Mix (and other boxed mixes)

(maybe you already know this, I DID NOT !!)
 
Throw away ALL OUTDATED pancake mix you have in your home, PLEASE!  If you don’t believe me, read this article and then follow the ‘Link’ below to SNOPES.  Sorry to be the Grim Reaper of bad news, but I would rather have you ALIVE, besides a $2.00 box of pancake mix is NOT worth your life. Thanks, to David
 
P.  S.  You might want to tell this to your children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces and anyone else who keeps pancake mix in the cupboard.

Do The Amish Pay Taxes?

Friday, July 13th, 2007

Do the Amish pay taxes?

 Just like the rest of us, the Amish are not exempt from life’s two certainties
– death and taxes. However, there is a reason behind the persistent myth
 that the Amish do not pay taxes. The Amish live within self-sufficient
 communities and do not collect Social Security, unemployment, or
welfare benefits. According to their religious beliefs, paying Social Security,
an insurance premium for the elderly, is tantamount to not “taking care
of their own.” Amish people who are self-employed are not obliged to pay
 Social Security tax, but they do still pay all other taxes, including property,
income, and sales tax. If an Amish person decides to work outside
 of the community, he or she must also pay Social Security tax
 like any other American.

In 1955, the IRS extended the Social Security Act of 1935 to include
farm operators. At the time, some Amish people immediately complied
with the tax, while others conscientiously objected to it. Many felt that it
violated the separation of church and state, some did not want to
accept monies for government programs, and still others believed that
paying a commercial insurance for the elderly went against
their trust in God to take care of them.

Texans – You Gotta Love Them!

Friday, July 13th, 2007

TEXANS . . .

Gabriel went to the Lord and said, “I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing problems….They’re swinging on the Pearly Gates, My horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of robes; There’s barbecue sauce and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep; they are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos.”
“They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scratching up the halls of Wisdom. There is watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their horses with them.”

The Haircut

Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

A young boy had just gotten his driver’s license and asked his father if
they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal
with his son. “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study
your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we’ll talk about the car.”

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the
offer and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said,
“Son, I’ve been real proud. You brought your grades up and I’ve observed
that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m real disappointed you
didn’t get your hair cut.”

Respect Our Federal Employees

Monday, July 9th, 2007

 A cocky U.S. Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm
and talked with an old farmer.   He told the farmer, “I need to inspect
your farm.”

The old farmer said, “OK, but don’t go in that field right over yonder.”

The Agriculture representative said, “Mister, I have the authority of
the United States Government with me.  See this card?  The card means I
am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land.   No
questions asked or answered.  Have I made myself clear?  Do you
understand!”

The farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores.

Life Saving Tips For Women Everywhere…and Guys Too!

Sunday, July 8th, 2007

Bloggers Note: This is the classic chain email. There are some good tips here, but I’m not sure about all of them. Remember, this is an internet chain email, take the tips with a grain of salt. 

For those not from Kansas City, on Tuesday they found the body of 18 year old Kelsey Smith, a girl that just graduated from the high school a week earlier. So sad so senseless. Kelsey was abducted from a Target parking lot after doing some routine shopping.